Twilight

Dear Twilight fans,

I just saw the supposed greatest movie of all time, and let me tell you it was a complete failure. I really don't know what you're obsessing about. I liked the book well enough, but this movie was a great injustice to an already poorly written book. Yikes. I can't describe how bad it was. Oh wait, I can.

Firstly, movie versions of Edward and Bella are completely inadequate and misrepresented. Edward is so ridiculously awkward. Completely wrong Robert Pattinson, but perhaps that was in the script. Who knows? Kristen Stewart, you are so lifeless. It's like you're a zombie. Talk about weird. Vampires and zombies falling in love. Hah! Plus it's like you guys don't even like each other. When you say you want to be with each other forever, I don't believe you. Of course, maybe Pattinson was trying to show the extreme pain that being near Bella caused Edward...but still. So so awkward.

Let's talk about the cinematography next, shall we? It was terrible. Camera operator/ director learn how to use a camera. A lot of the handheld work was completely unnecessary, as were the extensive cuts to shots from different angles. I know that audiences nowadays have short attention spans, but the cuts had no significance whatsoever. Plus, there was no need for the extreme close ups of every character's face! Yes, I want to know them, but not that intimately. Perhaps you were trying to compensate for the complete lack of emotion from Bella...regardless, it failed. I still don't buy it.

Props on the mirror scene though. James was a good casting choice and that scene made me really really uncomfortable. So that was good. I liked the montage when Bella realized Edward was a vampire too. However, the music sucked throughout the film, and I honestly don't know why people are buying the soundtrack. It doesn't go well with the flow of the movie and Edward's song for Bella was an amateur's attempt. I've read that Robert Pattinson composed it himself. That's sweet, but it's just too simple to sum up the complexity of the feelings that the character's are supposed to feel.

Back to the camera. Stop panning to the trees and the landscape. I don't care. Also cut out the stupid arc shots. What the lifeless characters are saying doesn't warrant such an extreme shot.

Jasper looked like he was in perpetual pain. Rosalie was kind of ugly, sorry. Alice was cute. Emmett was amusing. Most of the other characters were well-cast, but Catherine Hardwicke, please get a different Bella. Edward needs some work, but he wasn't horrible. Yikes.

So the movie overall was below par. The story could have worked...but the final product was just bad. Get a new director. Get a new Bella.

You basically almost ruined Twilight for me.