freakish

Here's something interesting. Apparently, sometime last year in an attempt to ward off possible burglaries in my room, I divvied up my monies. Yes, I hid a bit of my meager savings in several places throughout my room. I stumbled upon one last night. It's always fun to find money, especially when you're running out.

I just can't believe I did that and hid it in such a weird place. Oh well.

a full tummy

Wow. Astonishingly, I'm really full for once. This isn't to say that I've been starving myself. Actually, I've been harboring an insatiable hunger lately. But today? Today I am full and fulfilled. After dining at Olive Garden, my mother treated mis amigas to some artery-clogging Coldstone confections. It was delicious, though the sugary odors have taken refuge in my nasal passageways.

I also loaded up on school supplies because of the impending snowstorm. Hopefully the weather won't have an impact on my social plans for tomorrow, as time is running out. Speaking of running, I plan on doing a lot tonight for I am about to play basketball for about the first time in a year? Maybe more. I don't count that time we played during the summer because no one actually wanted to scrimmage with me.

I'm sorry I can't be happy for other people's successes. It dawned on me today; that's the main reason why I can't visit MK. I'll get depressed.

Shivering cold

My house is really frigid at the moment.

Circulation is a huge issue. Everywhere.

My externship was strange. Very strange. The working world is a frightening place. I don't know if I'll ever be ready. I'm super awkward.

Brain exploding with chinese characters. so many. brain too small. what's it all for? Ways of thinking.

Finished Second Helpings. Still the story of my life for the most part. Minor differences and life-altering events. I'm just undesirable I guess.

Watched Juno today while studying. Remains a good film.

And I cleaned out my room. I had accumulated like 20 lbs worth of magazines since the 6th grade. I trashed them, keeping only a few for future reference. Can't wait until I'm old and flip through past trends.

what to do now...?

Things still to do over break:
Write thank-yous
Watch a couple more movies
Make t-shirt, finish memory board
Study some more
hang out with friends
pack

Got my grades in paper today. The paper glistens with achievement. Even the paper is shiny. sparkle, sparkle, sheen.

manshoulders

It's official. I have manshoulders. I'm going to need to look up a solution to manshoulders.

fun fact: my armspan is greater than my height.

truth, justice, the beyond

I really need to work on honing my writing skills. They are seriously lacking lately. I feel like I've been stuck in a rut since I started editing for the paper. I keep my sentences short to the point where long ones actually confuse and annoy me. This could also be a result of improper comma placement. I need to brush up on my elements of style. And my vocabulary.

But anyway, sometimes I think it's difficult to face reality. I still haven't looked at the grade on my research paper for Shakespeare. I looked at the final grade for the class, mind you, but for some reason I can't bring myself to take a look. It obviously can't be terrible since I did well in the class, but still - I won't look until it becomes essential. This is probably one of my major weaknesses. Accepting criticism. I think I need someone to deliver it to me straight up - or else I won't see it. Of course it hurts. I can't stand imperfection. Maybe I just need to discipline myself to learn to accept and grow.

Another thing I have lost is the ability to BS. It used to be so easy to spew any crap I could. Now I can no longer do it, and it's directly reflected in my ability to speak. I can only speak about topics about which I am extremely well-versed. So my goal now is to become well-versed in just about everything. Or maybe it just means that I am a writer and not an orator.

Perhaps I have nothing to say at all. And yet, it seems I have volumes to write.

yeah.

Today I crafted a memory board. I've been wanting one for some time now, so I just went ahead and made it. Plus I picked up Sloppy Firsts again. It's been years since I last read it. As I go through it now, I realize that it's basically a novelization of my life. I'm not sure if the stuff I write is a result of reading it, but a lot of my thoughts seem to plagiarize the book. Crap.

I feel bad for the girl who got caught plagiarizing one of that same author's books. It's probably not hard. I think a lot of the main character's thoughts echo the thoughts of millions of angst-ridden teenage girls, myself included. It was just weird to see things that I've actually written in my own journal in this book. So I ask myself which came first? My guess is the novel. But how could I remember some of those things? I can't even remember some plot details, and yet some of the lines are word for word. Etched in my subconscious? I don't know. I'm not really one for remembering quotes.

Snowwww

I'm extremely unmotivated at the moment. I need something to make me do things. Yesterday was such a waste of a day and it only served to throw off my groove. Blast.

I'm watching HP & OOTP now to alleviate my ennui. I was reading Jane Eyre before, but then I gave up. It's too boring for me to digest at the moment. Plus I had forgotten how much I hated Jane. She's so bland and unassuming. I hate people that have no personality. I also hate fence sitters. Pick a side.

Now I'll multitask and attempt to study while I watch.