sunny Saturday

Another lovely Saturday spent inside. I have to focus on writing a paper because I want to do awesome on it. Mostly because I suck at life and haven't been acing everything as I should be doing.

I've also forgotten how to write. Probably an issue...

Last night I watched Mulan and then part of Sabrina before I fell asleep. For some reason there's a lot of tension going on in my shoulders that needs to be remedied. I've tried sleeping on my back instead of my stomach, but it hasn't helped much. I don't understand how life does this to me.

Anyway, I'm kind of fed up with life right now. I'm questioning every friendship I've ever had. I want to know if any of it is real. It's probably not.

I'm also a little frustrated with everything. I always doubt, but others don't seem to share my sense of modesty and humility. Of course I think I'm good, but there will always be others who are better. I never understand people who feel they have to brag to convince me of something. Are they that insecure that they have to constantly be talking?

That's basically the state of things. Supposedly my family is coming tomorrow to go to lunch and bring me shoes (for Chrysalis!)

Unfortunately, Chrysalis recently lost its appeal because now I'm just disillusioned with everything. I don't see any hope lurking on the horizon. It's probably just going to be another lame dance at which I hover awkwardly on the sides, observing couples necking. Oh, I went there. So I'll become some kind of voyeur. Gross. I don't want to be a voyeur.